Why does this always happen to me?
An article by Jim Connolly
In this article, I am going to show you why so few people ever achieve worthwhile success – but more importantly, I am going to show you how you can reverse the process in order to achieve anything you want!
When a salesperson has just broken their company’s sales record for the 3rd time in as many months, they never ask; “Why does this always happen to me?” Likewise, you will not hear this question uttered when a hard working student gets their 5th straight ‘A’ or the champion boxer successfully defends his world title for the 10th time. No, this question seems to be the sole domain of the serial-complainer!
Most people complain, but stay the same. I spoke recently to the owner of a retail outlet, who was complaining about her lack of passing trade. I asked her how long this had been a problem; “I’ve been here for 5 years now and we have never had any passing trade!” This lady was treating her business as if it were a 50 foot oak tree that could not be moved. When I suggested she relocate to a better position, she looked stunned; “But I like it here” she replied!
“If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got!”
If you have a recurring problem in your career, your business or in any area of your life; there is always a reason behind it – cause and effect! The challenge for most people is that they become comfortable with the status quo. They refuse to change and thus, keep having the same problems over and over again. For them, the problem is less painful than the thought of actually doing something about it.
Have you ever heard a wealthy person described as being “comfortable” or “comfortably off”? Well, if that wealthy person made his or her fortune themselves, I can absolutely guarantee to you that they are NOT comfortable! In fact, all successful people NEED a level of discomfort in their lives! Successful people keep moving forward and to do this, they need to feel a certain level of discomfort with where they currently are. Do you honestly think Bill Gates kept running Microsoft for so long because he needed to make more money? Of course not! He kept going because he saw things that he wanted to improve.
In contrast, ‘the average person’ will do anything to avoid this feeling of discomfort!
That’s why the most successful products and services in our society are all aimed at helping us forget about the things we need to change! One of the fastest growing areas of the Internet is the development of ‘virtual worlds’. These virtual worlds have literally MILLIONS of members who ‘escape’ their real life for hours each day - pretending to be someone else! The market for; alcohol, gambling, cigarettes, credit cards, reality TV, loans, computer games and illegal drugs has exploded - because they all act as narcotics to take away the pain of looking at our lives and making the required improvements.
The truth is, most people are not actually asking a question when they say “why does this always happen to me” – they are simply making a statement! They are telling the world that bad things keep happening to them and the suggestion is that it’s not their own fault – it’s just bad luck.
There’s no magic or mystery here. We know that everything happens for a reason and as any scientist will confirm, it’s got NOTHING to do with luck! Why does Tom’s boss take him for granted? Simple, Tom’s obviously not providing his boss with something that his boss values. Why does Mary never have enough money? Simple, Mary is either spending too much or she has not invested in increasing her market value to the salary she wants to earn. Why does my partner treat me like this? Simple, because you allow him or her to treat you like that. Why did my sister get 200 Christmas cards when I only got 50? Simple, she sent 250 cards out and you only sent 60.
It’s all down to cause and effect – but isn’t that wonderful?
This means that YOU can have ANYTHING you want – WOW! All you need to do is decide what you actually want from your career, a business or any other area of your life and then commit to doing whatever is necessary in order to achieve it.
So, how do you find out what you need to do in order to have the career of your dreams, a profitable business that excites you or anything else?
Simple – you find someone who has already achieved whatever you want and ask them how they did it. Then, do whatever they did! That’s it!
Finally, allow yourself to experience some of the discomfort associated with whatever area of your life you want to change. That discomfort may well be the motivation you need in order to have people referring to you as, “comfortable”!
To your success,
Jim Connolly
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